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Alien: Covenant (2017) - Jason X in a toga

A film that raises big questions—about gods, monsters, and the cost of creation—and then answers them with pseudo-intellectual hooha and a bunch of splatters. It’s poetry for meatballs. A creation myth written by someone who forgot the difference between being mysterious and confounding. There’s a premise here. But it never shows up on screen. The director described the film as having [layers of metaphor].  By minute 20, my response to him would be: “Uh nah bruh … you ain’t that deep.” The characters are emotionally unbalanced idiots. This crew is supposedly trained for deep interstellar colonization. No backup plan. No safety protocols. No sense of hierarchy or mission discipline. They panic, scream, and grieve like they’ve just lost soulmates—they are too young to have known each other or been through anything more severe than a power point presentation. They lack agency. They don’t make decisions—they react, flail, and sometimes avoid shooting themselves or blowing themselves up...

Sinners (2025) - who are your people?

A Southern Gothic tale - with all the symbolism you care to find from that genre. What does it mean to belong? How does a community treat its undesirables? What role does religion play in defining good and clean? What do you have to give up to be part of the clan? This movie probes some very deep stuff.  If you just want the top-level show without all the questions this flick evokes - you get gangsters, vampires, and blues music. It is all the magic I found in a Pizza Hut Supreme when I was a kid. Wonderfully grotesque metaphors. Moving scores. Impact through sound design, camera focus, tracking, color palette and lighting. This movie is brilliantly made.  I am trying to put my finger on a performance that is stand out, but I can't really. It is quite an ensemble. I think if there is one series I loved it is when Stack goes to get supplies for the party: that negotiation with the girl by the truck, the greeting at the 'black' grocery, the shooting, the '1-shot' wher...

Aniara (2018) - Space is full of our fears

"Aniara" (2018) is ostensibly a scifi film about a passenger ship en route to Mars that goes off course. Think "Avenue 5" (2020) but with less Hugh Laurie wit, Josh Gad mania and no comedic electricity from Jessica St Clair or Zach Woods. "Aniara" is based on an epic poem - and it explores how humanity, set adrift in the cosmos, struggles to find a path to purpose.  The narrative is centered on a woman who operates an AI Virtual Reality machine which provides an immersion therapy for people who are trapped on the ship - it fills them with a sense of paradise that they ultimately have to be unplugged from to face the existential dread reality of the sarcophagus they are on. The woman, Mimarobe, is earnest trying to make the best of what she is given. She is flawed - she is treated unfairly - she finds love - she faces grievous loss. All the while, she perseveres. I see her as a Job like character. Not exactly: she never gets angry at God and she doesn't...

Roman Holiday - a perfect closing scene

Roman Holiday: Never have the stakes been so low. And seldom has the romp been so much fun. This movie is effervescent. The sensibility of it fantastic. There is even a character arc for all the mains if that is what you want - Peck falls in love. Hepburn grows up and realizes she is a woman on a mission in control of her agenda. Albert even has his heart show up at the end - really all of them go through something in a very naturalistic way that I feel is unusual for film (certainly for 1950's US films). I do think that Eddie Albert deserves special mention - he is severely handsome and hilarious.  It may be mostly the beard, but he reminded me of Rob Cook. His character keeps getting dumped on his backside and getting his pants wet. He tries to 'help' and ends up in some slapstick shenanigans more than not. I don't know about the time around the release, but his performance is undermentioned in comparison to the other two these days. The closing scene where she knows ...

Werewolf vs. Dracula

(This is based on a clip from YouTube) So much grunting. Way more snake that you would have su-sssss-pected. The recent release of "Nosferatu" clearly skipped over the vulnerability to being taken down by a cane pole. The script is top notch - it is a new take on this well-worn ancient blood feud. Considering the dubious camera work, I like how the director & script supervisor made sure you knew what was going to hit werewolf in the face next. Sound effects were pretty good (not counting the airliner that interrupted the shoot). I think if two grown men on their way home from Spirit Halloween put together 140 seconds of thematic brilliance, you at least should stop and watch.

The Thing in the Basement

What do you do if you have 6th, 7th, and 12th place finishers in the 'Michael Stivic look-a-like contest - and a product placement deal with Budweiser?  You get Rick Baker's neighbor (other side of the street, a few doors down) to make you a creature costume. Then you go get the writer who did a day's work punching up one poker scene for an episode of MASH but got fired for refusing footwear on the set. In 1973, you could get a Thompson machine gun and grenades practically everywhere - so that is no problem. Then you grab you 8mm camera and put it to work on your singular masterpiece.  Really - this is fun. I could not put a name to who Fernman reminded me of, but I did think the art director did a fantastic job capturing his je ne sais quoi with the skull. Soundtrack is great. Last thing (if you were wondering): YES, this is in the same cinematic universe as "Drop Dead Fred" - this is the Fred who was hanging out with Phoebe Cates.

Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning - USB Powered Submarine

 MI: FR *sigh* I have not laughed as hard in a movie with ZERO comedy beats in a long time. The greatest part of it was that E was giggling just as much. We had a blast, and we agree - "Mission Impossible: Final Reckoning" is a not a good movie. Let me see if I can find some alternate titles: [Swan Song the movie?] [McGuffin from the Tony Stark school of physics] [Messiah Complex anyone?] [The audience might have 'finding Dory' disease] [Let me recap the series for you - at least 3 times] [Let's take this brilliant action series SOOOO seriously] [Tonal whiplash] If I have to rank them, 1 is classic, 2 is weird, 3 is a half-step in the right direction, 4~7 are master classes in action film making ... and then you have this #8 thing which is 75 minutes of movie packed in 90 minutes of shredded paper. If you go - take someone you love and a good sense of humor.

Gravity (2013)

 The movie 'Gravity' (2013) won an Oscar for Best Director??? The character Ryan Stone is astoningly incompetent. 6 months of training and she can not attach a single seat belt or secure her gear. This movie would be so much better if instead of talking itself seriously, it learned into being a parody of tense thrillers. She is just such a raging nincompoop.  (This is not commenting on the lack of Newtonian physics).

Jacob's ladder effect

There is a movie I have never seen, but I know the twist. Think of it as a really grim Wizard of Oz tale where Dorothy clicks her heals and then the audience realizes she was killed by the tornado. That got me thinking about how much of the story telling in my beloved b-movies would be first rate if you just latched onto this premise. If you assume the inciting incident in act 1 almost killed the main character, and everything from there forward is a fever dream or the last brain synapses firing before the main character crosses over. With that lens the story telling just got a whole lot better. Imagine if instead of the script and editing being shite and the directing + acting being inconsistent, unbalanced and paper thin ... instead the cast & crew were students of Descartes' *Meditations on First Philosophy* or Plato's *Theaetetus*. They were purposefully challenging the distinction between waking and dreaming states. As they are soliciting backers, they have a copy of Z...

Are they even trying?

 I think the time for this has passed, but why don't we have a two-hander starting Brian Doyle Murphy and Clint Howard? What about a vehicle for DeeDee Pfeiffer and Hayley Duff? I really don't think Hollywood is even trying.

Fences (2016)

Fences (2016) is nominally a story about being black in the United States of America in the 1950's. 'Troy' is a disaffected working man that never really had a chance. He is unable to make sense of an unfair world. Viola Davis doesn't get as much screen time (this is Denzel's movie), but when she is let on the scene, she destroys. 'Rose' is setting herself aside to make a life & family despite very little prospects for measurable happiness. Based on an August Wilson play - the magic of his writing is that at its root, this story is about people who set aside themselves for "existence". All people yearn for happiness on this world from their achievements (at least to achieve 'success' & 'happiness' relative to people around them). People want to proclaim they are in control of their situations. People want to be treated generously and with respect. People think that the world, society, economy, and people around them should a...

A Haunting in Venice (2023) - Theme over story telling

 "A Haunting in Venice" (2023) - this is the 3rd of Kenneth Branaugh's Agatha Christie's novels he has brought to screen. I have seen them all. I don't think I have ever read one of her stories, but I have watched several movie & TV versions.  Just to sum up this particular film, these are the content warnings for KB's version: [Flashing lights, some thematic elements, some strong violence, disturbing images].  Yup - that sums the film. Plot, character & dialog ... whatever. This movie is a symphony of thematic elements and disturbing imagery along with enough flashing lights that you think your TV might be broken. There are also some people performing unbelievable feats of strength that are indeed violent. I enjoyed myself. As a form of motion picture entertainment that set out to 'psychologically thrill' me, it works. As an exercise in cinematic story telling based on the writing of arguably the best, most prolific, and popular mystery author...

Shark Side of the Moon (2022)

 You know when you watch a movie and for "reasons" you can't remember watching it - so you jump on it again as a new discovery. Then about 15 minutes into this 88-minute gem, you realize you have been here before. And it is so glorious you cannot believe you forgot about it. "Shark Side of the Moon" (2022) was so funny this time. Just the right mix of practical and CGI effects. A cast that knows exactly what movie they are in. Implausible physics & wonderful expositive dialog rationalizing it. The only thing they don't really explain is what these homicidal Russian-shark-human-hybrids have been eating on the moon for the last couple of decades. If they did, I missed it.  It is almost as good as "Velocipastor" (2018)

William Faulkner

 I am reading Faulkner again. I think the last time I read his work was while I was getting my undergraduate. Texas A&M curriculum for engineers at that time included a fair amount of liberal arts elective requirements (including language studies). I took several anthropology and literature courses. They were relatively easy ways to hold my GPA up against my mediocre calculus grades. I think I read "The Bear" (yes kids, a story by that name was around for a long time before Hulu existed). I don't think I read any of his novels. This time I am reading a collection short stories.  As a young man, I did not appreciate how beautiful and compelling his writing is. I could not appreciate the feelings of emotional intensity. Even though I really like(d) my own 50-cent words and subjective parenthetical language, I think I struggled with his prose. Today I am mesmerized by his story telling. These stories are sad, and lovely, and moving - in ways 20 year old Robert could not ...

Con Air (1997) - another example of the Jacob's ladder effect

As we work our way through Merry Cage-mas, an argument could be made that "Con Air" is a fever dream Nick Cage's character has just before dying during that opening bar fight. 1) Monica Potter has abs of steel and is supposedly pregnant with their daughter. She is so not pregnant looking. So much so that, I do not know how they would have been far enough along to ultrasound the embryo. Additionally, he has just walked off a fishing boat into the bar she works at after getting home from deployment - when was the child conceived? 2) Nick Cage is immediately arrested and  sentenced to seven years in prison. During the film he writes & received fully formed letters from this child. In them, he talks about all the things they used to do with each other. When did these things happen?  3) Upon making his way into the titular 'Con Air' plane, Nick Cage has a shrink wrapped bunny rabbit doll he bought for this little girl as a present. Where did that come from? The pri...

Lampshade & B-team

 Last 2 movies of 2024. I took a long plane flight and got to watch two movies I had not seen in the mobile format the cinematographer intended. Here are my alternate title suggestions -  * "Deadpool & Wolverine" could have been titled "Lampshade: the movie" * "Borderlands" was "The A-team in space" or perhaps to be fair to the actual A-team, "An assemblage of characters across various aesthetics who think they are in different movies". D&W spent a little over 2 hours telling me it was funny because it was trying to be funny on purpose. Don't let it be forgotten that this is funny. When it wasn't doing that, it was informing me that it was a multiverse movie and that I shouldn't care for those. It was enjoyable, but I would have liked it 50% more if it had dropped 30 minutes of educating me regarding what it was.  As for the B-team, it was fetch quest city. You could tell you were on different a quest because of the ...

Strange Brew (1983)

 Say what you will about Jeff Bezos - he has brought me "Strange Brew" (1983) to stream in the privacy of my own home. I own a copy on VHS that Adam Young gave me 1000 years ago when I still had a VCR connected. (For the younger audience, VHS are those rectangular blurays people used to watch ... You take a flashlight and magnet and shine it on the wall while you spin the tape with a pencil). The original song on that movie is fantastic. Max Von Sydow gained at least 10 lbs chewing scenery. Rick & Dave give their usual muted, naturalistic performances. There are a bunch of supporting characters who really make a great set of scenes. It is 90 minutes of fun you won't regret. I assume if you are Canadian, it was part of your school curriculum.

Goonies meet Thanos

 Whenever "The Goonies" comes on again I always wonder - what if Thanos had snapped his fingers in 1985 instead of in the 2010s. He was right there in Astoria. Tony Stark was still at MIT. Boy genius or not he was clearly not yet ready to put everything together to fight the Mad Titan. Thanos wasted his chance on the Fratellis.

M (1931)

 I finally got around to watching "M" (1931) - the Fritz Lang classic. It is like watching a double episode of Law & Order. I was a bit surprised at how dark the villain is portrayed. I guess being a German film it did not need to comply with Hays Code nonsense (although I am not 100% sure if this would have failed the code sensors, it is definitely a pretty heavy subject). Speaking of the villain, Peter Lorre is fantastic in this.

The Sunset Limited (2011)

 Nihilism is always a popular theme or character trait in literature and movies. In "The Sunset Limited" (2011) nihilism is approximately 50% of the story. In that movie / play, 'White' is arguing that all life is meaningless and that he has no connection to anything worth living for. 'Black' is arguing that God is the reason for life and we are called to reach one another from that love.  The piece that struck me was the last exchange as White is leaving the apartment. White apologizes to Black. But what is he saying sorry for? It seems to me that he is sorry for how badly Black feels about being unable to save White. He feels empathy for Black hurting because Black has accepted his human frailty - and the consequence that White is doomed. As an otherwise perfect nihilist by White - it is this turn that is out of character. If nothing matters and all life is meaningless ... why be empathetic? Why extend a word of kindness & concern? Why try to make this o...