A Tale of Two Critters (1977) - Dickens adjacent

“A Tale of Two Critters” (1977) opens with a riff on the first two clauses in Dicken’s first sentence. I think they should have skipped down a skosh to “age of wisdom, age of foolishness” or “spring of hope, winter of despair”. Maybe threw in some take from the closing stanzas about [holding sanctuary in their hearts]. It was clearly titled and scripted to evoke Dickens, but that is pretty much where the similarities stop.

This is a Buena Vista Films production - released theatrically in the middle of the summer - at a time when (a) Disney would produce a G-rated movie and (b) movie theaters would take up summertime seats with a 47 minute nature flick. I wonder if it came as a double feature. I could not find anything about the box office numbers. The original song is fun and I would have sworn the orchestrated score kept calling back the hymn “I’ll Fly Away”.

If you have seen Milo and Otis (1986), you have seen this - except this is half the time commitment. I would guess they are both equally dubious in terms of the jeopardy in which the film makers placed these two creatures. There are a couple of chuckle out loud parts: every time the raccoon would tackle the bear and they would wrestle; it made me giggle. Some of the narrator’s puns were funny. There were a couple of cringey parts: when they got in a fight with a wolverine, I didn’t want to think about who set that scenario up and how much first aid it should have needed.

I have visited the Olympic Game Farm in Sequim*, WA where this was filmed. If you know the place, you have to know that several of the scenes are a total setup. It is technically possible to float down a river to the ocean, but it is not direct. I think there is no way a hollowed-out log carrying a raccoon and a bear would make it without getting stuck. I don’t think the Olympic peninsula is home to either wolverine or badger. The skunk and the crow looked local though.

If you want a short pleasant no demand motion picture experience, this tale can provide it.

*if you are not from the PacNW, you are likely pronouncing that word wrong

Black Legion (1937) - a dark tale about today

I was asked by a friend to check out “Black Legion” (1937) because he seemed to appreciate my movie reviews. That led me through a rabbit warren of two movies, two radio shows, one 50 page “pamphlet” written by a 1936 American communist published by The University of Texas in Austin, and lots of other people’s internet research. All of the ‘entertainment’ media was produced in that ‘36~’38 window. I appreciate being asked, but you have to be careful about fan-service folks - it can get you a second job while you aren’t looking.

1937 shows young Bogart - well before he met Baccal and before it was obvious he was going to die soon. Most consider “High Sierra” to be his star-making role, but you can see it coming here. This year also gives us a spot in the fat of the Hays Code. PCA compliant “Code” movies tend to feel either like a children’s Sunday School lesson or very simple drama / action stories. This is neither and yet both. I came in to watch unprepped thinking I was getting a noir film - I came through it with a lesson that history repeats itself, and humans are dangerous when they become mob-making scaredy cats.

I would call it “editorial” cinema. Both this and “Legion of Terror” (1936), the 1937 radio episodes of “True Detective” and ‘38 “The Shadow” were like that. They represent a point of view that says “fascists” are bad for humanity (*snort). Fascists begin because we are afraid of change and our lack of control in life. Our plans are set and the world we live in is not - and that scares us. Frightened people do desperate and scary things. They huddle together with other people who are afraid. They are nurtured and their desperate efforts flourish because morally bankrupt people in positions of power use fascism for profit as well as to remain in power. Fear sells. People even pay to be inside the fear machine - it is better to be part of a scary thing than out there getting through the fear you can’t control.

In this specific story, fascism came in the form of a real life organization called “The Black Legion” which was a splinter of the Ku Klux Klan. It was organized into jingoistic military-like structures, it had a hierarchical bureaucracy that you paid dues into, swore your allegiance to, and took your orders from. Those orders were to intimidate, assault, and destroy whoever “they” were that “are ruining your lives”. For the Black Legion, THEY were Jews, Catholics, people of color (what constituted non-white was pretty broad), people with ‘liberal’ or ‘progressive’ ideas, and just about anyone who for whatever reason bothered  someone in the Black Legion. The Black Legion had squads that carried out the evil jobs and squads that followed up on the evil doers to make sure they did their jobs. Their downfall came because after one of the many murders they committed someone got caught and confessed.  That is the ripped from real life plot of all of these shows.

This is not much of a movie review. As a film it was exciting and entertaining. “Black Legion” was about 83 minutes, “Legion of Terror” was just over 60, and the radio shows were under 30 minutes each. Each of them is easy to get into and they keep you with their narrative & characters. The radio program commercials were interesting - especially the part where Agnes Moorehead (“Bewitched”) tells you to call into the Blue Coal Corporation tomorrow and tell them you heard about Blue Coal from “The Shadow”. They sold the finest anthracite available.

Unfortunately, I could not stop thinking that if you shot this again in the 2020s, it could be a week in the life of whoever ‘One America News Network’ or ‘Breitbart’ says are the real patriots. If you want links to the media or the pamphlet I uncovered, let me know. If you are a reader rather than a watcher or listener - just do the pamphlet. It starts drama and morphs into a news-like research piece then goes op-ed. It is really well written.

Nightmare Alley (1947) & (2022) - the human condition

“Nightmare Alley” never stops giving. You can check out the 1946 novel by William Lindsay Graham, 1947 movie directed by Edmund Golding, and 2021 movie directed by Guillermo del Toro. If you have read/seen one, you have read/seen them all – and yet they are simultaneously worthwhile and VERY different presentations on the same story.

I really liked the 1947 movie - it was an early film in terms of post-Hays code. I think today’s MPAA would give it PG13. The subject material and story are definitely not meant for children, but the rating board would be hard pressed to compile enough stuff to bump it up a level. The 2021 movie is rated R (probably edited so audiences know this is for adults and to avoid disappointing kids looking for “American Horror Story”). I would say the Graham novel is for an even more mature reader than GdT’s movie. As an adult reader, I decided I was mature enough to fast forward through a few sections that I wasn’t adult enough to let rattle around in my brain.

The novel & 1947 movie are quick and put you in the story from the jump. The novel & 2021 film are colorful and vibrant and there is a whole lot more going on with everyone than in the 1947 film. Unfortunately, some of del Toro’s storytelling dragged the story. I really like del Toro’s work, but he often produces a spectacle and visual feast that is more picture show than narrative theme park ride. Así es la vida.

2021 actors were definitely bringing today’s naturalistic acting on top of the 1947 screen characters. You can see Tyrone Power in Bradley Cooper, Joan Blondell in Toni Collette, Ian Keith in David Strathairn, and Mike Mazurki in Ron Perlman (Mike is way more of a frustrated mook than Ron. Perlman is playing someone that is not in the book or previous movie - he doesn’t get enough credit for his talent). 2021 Guillermo del Toro has some other all star actors hitting it out of the park: Willem Dafoe, Richard Jenkins, Tim Blake Nelson, and Paul Anderson are captivating as always.

In terms of acting comparison between the films, there was little else worth noting in 1947. Those four parallels above caught my attention but the 2023 viewer barely remembers anyone else from Goulding’s work. For Example: 2021 Rooney Mara was head and shoulders above 1947 Coleen Gray’s Molly (the novel Molly is nothing like either of them). 2021 Cate Blanchet’s version of Helen Walker’s Lillith character is diabolical. Graham’s novel characters needed deep actors … in 2021 - they got it across the board. Del Toro’s crew brought Graham’s writing to the screen. In 1947, it was just ‘Stan’ and ‘Zeena’ that got the acting they deserved from Tyrone and Joan.

If you are not familiar, there is really no hero in this story. There is no one you are rooting for. This is labeled as a “gem of noir”, but I think the non-hero aspects are why it qualifies in the noir bucket. I think I would call it a morality tale - it is a complex, realistic investigation into the character’s motivations, moral compasses, and imperfect lives.

If you are a fan of the human condition, try “Nightmare Alley”.

Ready Player One (2018) - or not

Ready … or not

[Fan service the movie] - [80’s pop culture reference parade] - [Nostalgia necropsy] These could have been alternate titles or tag lines. Steven Spielberg knows how to make a ‘high concept’ movie that makes money for sure. And “Ready Player One” (2018) is that - a money making set of moving pictures.

I give it an A for production design - beautiful CG & sets. I give the screenwriters an A for cleaning up the novel a bit to make it PG13. I have read it - it is not better than the movie. Beyond that, it is 140 minutes of ‘I guarantee I know how this will go’ and ‘How many comic / television / music references from the 80’s can you clock per 30 minutes? Ok - Go!’ I am guessing 30% of the budget went to securing the IP rights for that stuff.

If I think about this in the context of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” or “Jurassic Park” or “Adventures of TinTin” or “The BFG” - this movie is just as well made and could be entertaining. If I think about it in terms of the source material, I guess I was personally not in need of a firehose of nostalgic references laid on top of a dystopian young adult circumstance. Probably why I didn’t dig the novel. If you want a right down the middle story, with some action and humor, great visuals and a cast of 30~40 year olds playing teenagers who all live within 5 miles of each other … “Ready Player One” checks all those boxes. If you want a fun time and to be moved or surprised or thrilled or dramatized or actionized - I would revisit one of the three alternates I listed above

Key Largo (1948) - ah, the Beach Boys

Except in this case it was Humphrey Bogart, Edward Robinson, Lionel Barrymore, and a really creepy performance by Thomas Gomez. We are talking John Huston’s version of “Key Largo” (1948)

For 1948, this is a weird amalgam of home invasion tension, and post WW2 molasses. I couldn’t quite decide if I was caught up in the thrilling drama or eye rolling at the hamfisted coward to hero journey we were supposed to be on. I would say the Huston & Richard Brooks’ screenplay sort of missed his set up at the beginning and so it was quite a short shallow valley through ‘contempt of coward’ to ‘person has to be true to their being … and this being is a hero’ - hence, who cared. It is based on a play about a deserter from the Spanish Civil war which Huston thought wasn’t any good - but I will have to see if I can find that screenplay to make up my mind about who wore it best.

I don’t think I have seen anything else with Edward G. Robinson - I most know him from Bugs Bunny impersonations. It was easy to see why he was a star. I forgot about Lionel Barrymore / Mr. Potter from “Its a Wonderful Life”, but you could see that curmudgeon tilted toward incensed and helpless victim. It is a good performance. He is on the screen enough (and doesn’t have as much makeup as in the Capra film) that you can see his niece Drew in there too. Lauren Baccall looked gorgeous, but 24 year olds are generally good looking - especially in a room full of 40~60 year olds.

The STAND OUT performance was Claire Trevor. She plays Robinson’s girlfriend (‘moll’ is probably the right word) - she is an alcoholic lush. In particular, the scene during the storm where she really wants a drink and Robinson won’t give it to her - then he tortures her by requiring an acapella song she used to sing in his clubs - and THAT song is a roman à clef for her life … and she realizes it on the last chorus and breaks … wowzer. Actually, if you JUST watched the 5 minutes before and after that 90 second song - that is a clip worth seeing

Rubber (2010) - French Absurdity

I saw a film, and as I watched, I said to myself: “Raul, you know what - I didn’t think anyone but the French made absurd films”. And then Raul said “mmmhmmm. Stop talking. This is funny.” Raul was right - so I just settled back in for the 86 minute ride. Afterwards, I opened up Wikipedia and realized I was right - that WAS a French film - it was just stocked with American actors.

“Rubber” (2010) is an absurd comedy-¿horror? It comes with three scoops of meta: it tells you in the beginning, middle, and end that it is being absurd on purpose. I mean - literally - the characters tell the audience or each other that this makes no sense. They are not lying. You were warned. For anyone who has trouble noting when the first, second, third act start precisely in a film - I recommend you watch “Rubber” and every time they tell you this makes no sense or there is no reason to what is happening, THAT was the start of the next chapter.

The lack of sense or reason did not make it unwatchable, or unfunny - personally, I found it charming. The storyteller told you what they were doing - and invited you to come along. I laughed out loud in several places (which is hard for me sometimes - I don’t yield to Raul enough). In particular, I could not stop giggling at the meta-humor of Wings Hauser wearing a baseball cap that said ‘Classically Trained’ on it. HAH!! It is only horror in that there is some ludicrous gore. Not a lot, but they do make a few messes and blow some people up.

I would watch it again with other people who are into silly films. About like I would watch anything from Asylum Films (I am looking at you “Shark Side of the Moon”). The actors were all people you will recognize from other things. Hauser was the only one I could name - I am not that geeky.

Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958) - it is a good deal better than the remakes

I got around to watching the original 1958 comedy caper film - the one that "Welcome to Collinwood" was pantomiming.

"Big Deal on Madonna Street" is hilarious. It is 25 minutes longer than the remake and never once did I feel the need to check my watch. I even paused to go refill my water glass. There will be no problem telling who is who or how the story goes - it is well shot and characters are unique. The story is a simple and fun.

Comparing the "BDoMS" and "WtC" - they are identical in terms of characters and scenes. "Big Deal on Madonna Street" street is terrific, and "WtC" is a slog. The biggest difference is seen in the dialog. In "Big Deal" the people just talk, like you might expect people to talk. They are funny, but not odd. The colloquialisms happen, but they aren't hard to see through. In "WtC", they are using a vernacular to make sure you are immersed deep in an Eastern European ethnic neighborhood of Cleveland. This doesn't serve anything for the story and is something of a distracting verbal prop. They box your ears with it constantly such that you need to make up a new language to participate in the scenes.

Additionally, the character definitions/arcs are very different. In "Big Deal", they are just hapless crooks at the beginning and at the end. In "WtC", they are trying to better themselves, and so the audience gets confused - are you supposed to laugh at their nonsense, or are you supposed to "ahhh" their stories.

In addition to how fun "Big Deal on Madonna Street" is, I was pleasantly surprised to find Claudia Cardinale show up in a minor role. I know her from Sergio Leone's "Once Upon A Time in the West" - if you asked me to watch a movie where she sorts recycling, I probably would.

The Big Sleep (1946) and (1978) - the medium snooze

I tried to watch both versions of “The Big Sleep” in close proximity to each other. I am very glad I went with 1946 first. I suspect the 1978 version more closely mimics the more lurid details of the Raymond Chandler novel, but salacious content does not make an interesting movie.

1946 is a great noir movie. 1978 is like watching a double episode of Falcon Crest; rather than noir, it is taupe.

In 1946, we had a 47 year old Humphrey Bogart playing alongside his new bride, the 22 year old Lauren Bacall. Bogart and Bacall are captivating. The rest of the cast is on their game and into the story. It is a blast from top to bottom. You really come to feel conflicted about Bacall’s character and her intentions. The two bit players that are the main bad guy’s henchmen are a hoot. This thing is funny and intense and the dialog is great.

In 1978, we have a 61 year old Robert Mitchum playing against and along with a 37 year old Sarah Miles - and everybody looks like they just finished a large turkey dinner and missed their nap time. Even Oliver Reed & Joan Collins are sleepwalking through it. The only character that is alive is Candy Clark’s ‘Camilla Sternwood’ - and she is a lunatic - so tonally out of step with everyone else it is ridiculous. She looks like she is doing a coked up version of her Oscar nominated part from “American Graffiti”.

In 1946, Howard Hawks directed the screenplay by William Faulkner (yes, that Faulkner), the amazing Leigh Bracket, and Jules Furthman. In 1978, we had writer / director / producer Michael Winner. I think he needed to give up the director job. He hits all the story beats - the sets and locations are great - but his performers are dead on their feet. Really good actors performing in such a way that was less interesting than watching those YouTube videos on rust removal = poor direction. Like Star Wars episode 1,2,3.