A Tale of Two Critters (1977)

A Tale of Two Critters (1977) - Dickens adjacent

“A Tale of Two Critters” (1977) opens with a riff on the first two clauses in Dicken’s first sentence. I think they should have skipped down a skosh to “age of wisdom, age of foolishness” or “spring of hope, winter of despair”. Maybe threw in some take from the closing stanzas about [holding sanctuary in their hearts]. It was clearly titled and scripted to evoke Dickens, but that is pretty much where the similarities stop.

This is a Buena Vista Films production - released theatrically in the middle of the summer - at a time when (a) Disney would produce a G-rated movie and (b) movie theaters would take up summertime seats with a 47 minute nature flick. I wonder if it came as a double feature. I could not find anything about the box office numbers. The original song is fun and I would have sworn the orchestrated score kept calling back the hymn “I’ll Fly Away”.

If you have seen Milo and Otis (1986), you have seen this - except this is half the time commitment. I would guess they are both equally dubious in terms of the jeopardy in which the film makers placed these two creatures. There are a couple of chuckle out loud parts: every time the raccoon would tackle the bear and they would wrestle; it made me giggle. Some of the narrator’s puns were funny. There were a couple of cringey parts: when they got in a fight with a wolverine, I didn’t want to think about who set that scenario up and how much first aid it should have needed.

I have visited the Olympic Game Farm in Sequim*, WA where this was filmed. If you know the place, you have to know that several of the scenes are a total setup. It is technically possible to float down a river to the ocean, but it is not direct. I think there is no way a hollowed-out log carrying a raccoon and a bear would make it without getting stuck. I don’t think the Olympic peninsula is home to either wolverine or badger. The skunk and the crow looked local though.

If you want a short pleasant no demand motion picture experience, this tale can provide it.

*if you are not from the PacNW, you are likely pronouncing that word wrong

Comments

Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958) - it is a good deal better than the remakes

I got around to watching the original 1958 comedy caper film - the one that "Welcome to Collinwood" was pantomiming. "Big Deal on Madonna Street" is hilarious. It is 25 minutes longer than the remake and never once did I feel the need to check my watch. I even paused to go refill my water glass. There will be no problem telling who is who or how the story goes - it is well shot and characters are unique. The story is a simple and fun. Comparing the "BDoMS" and "WtC" - they are identical in terms of characters and scenes. "Big Deal on Madonna Street" street is terrific, and "WtC" is a slog. The biggest difference is seen in the dialog. In "Big Deal" the people just talk, like you might expect people to talk. They are funny, but not odd. The colloquialisms happen, but they aren't hard to see through. In "WtC", they are using a vernacular to make sure you are immersed deep in an Eastern European ethnic nei...

Alien: Covenant (2017) - Jason X in a toga

A film that raises big questions—about gods, monsters, and the cost of creation—and then answers them with pseudo-intellectual hooha and a bunch of splatters. It’s poetry for meatballs. A creation myth written by someone who forgot the difference between being mysterious and confounding. There’s a premise here. But it never shows up on screen. The director described the film as having [layers of metaphor]. By minute 20, my response to him would be: “Uh nah bruh … you ain’t that deep.” The characters are emotionally unbalanced idiots. This crew is supposedly trained for deep interstellar colonization. No backup plan. No safety protocols. No sense of hierarchy or mission discipline. They panic, scream, and grieve like they’ve just lost soulmates—they are too young to have known each other or been through anything more severe than a power point presentation. They lack agency. They don’t make decisions—they react, flail, and sometimes avoid shooting themselves or blowing themselves up...

"Cocaine Shark" (2023) - Not since "Suburban Sasquatch" ...

Mark Polonia has made almost 80 films since 1985. That is 2+ per year. There was a 3 year pause in his proliferation after his twin brother & production partner John died in 2008. If you consider that he (they) didn’t really start cranking out this entertainment until 2000 - it is more like 3 per year. If he keeps at it as long as they did, he will pass Richard Thorpe and William Beaudine (credited as directing ~180 each). Wowzers. His particular craft is low-low budget. Lower than Roger Corman or Lloyd Kaufman even. Polonia’s production values are limited. You get 2 or 3 sets with plenty of establishing shots to fill the transition. You get special effects and creatures which look like they were assembled by a junior high art class. You will see the same actor playing multiple parts, married couples acting together, and a lot of the same names showing up in multiple different releases. You will see the same people + sets in 2 or 4 of these movies in a room; I assume many of them a...

Robs takes on Media and Entertainment

Search This Blog