Skip to main content

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 3 (2023) - the olive garden of the MCU

If I had it to do over again, I would have waited for streaming.

A melodrama is constructed for strong emotional appeal. The sensational tug on your inner feely-wheelies takes precedence over the story. There is dialogue which is bombastic and excessively sentimental. Characters are flat as a pancake. The struggle is against some outside force. Music plays a big part in setting the tone and informing the audience.


And THAT is “Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 3” (2023). Sprinkle in some visual spectacle and a dash of camp, and you have the James Gunn space soap opera. Not opera - soap opera. It is a giant, velvet drawstring bag on his MCU legacy. The film has lots of shouting. Lots and lots of it. Lots of spittle. Lots and lots of it. Lots of ‘bum-bum-buuu ummmm’ moments. Lots and lots of it. Lots of tears on top of too much makeup. Lots and lots of it. *sigh*


The action setups were game quests with exposition cut scenes between. Many of the jokes were set up - remind you of the set up 20 minutes later - punchline 20 minutes after that. Some of the jokes were set up and then forgot to hit the punchline entirely. There was interpersonal conflict between main characters, but at this stage in their shared history I would have thought these issues would have been worked through long ago.


If there is one thing that I don’t need in a 150-minute movie, it is 20+ minutes of denouement. Holy moly I was ready for it to wrap up. If there is another thing I don’t need, it is a cast party integrated into the movie. It was a spectacle meant to tell me this party was over. It actually told me that my rear-end was ready to stand. I wonder if there are theaters where the audience joined in. I wish I had.


What did I like?

The little bit that Elizabeth Debiki was on screen. They changed her makeup quite a bit, and made her simper and whimper more, but still a great role. There is an exchange with her and the big bad guy that I thought was brilliantly written. This version of Drax was the Drax from the first 10 minutes of the first film - the one who took everything literally. That was good for some laughter in the theater. The new ship they got was cool even if incomprehensibly complicated. The who’s on first / where’s on third kerfuffle before the final fight could have been great, if they would have skipped the drawn own ‘escalating stakes’ that were resolved as soon as they squeezed in some of the umpteen effects shots they paid for.


This movie is fine. If you are looking for a similar tone to the first two installments, you will be a bit disappointed. There are aspects of those films here but that is not what the movie is.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Thing in the Basement

What do you do if you have 6th, 7th, and 12th place finishers in the 'Michael Stivic look-a-like contest - and a product placement deal with Budweiser?  You get Rick Baker's neighbor (other side of the street, a few doors down) to make you a creature costume. Then you go get the writer who did a day's work punching up one poker scene for an episode of MASH but got fired for refusing footwear on the set. In 1973, you could get a Thompson machine gun and grenades practically everywhere - so that is no problem. Then you grab you 8mm camera and put it to work on your singular masterpiece.  Really - this is fun. I could not put a name to who Fernman reminded me of, but I did think the art director did a fantastic job capturing his je ne sais quoi with the skull. Soundtrack is great. Last thing (if you were wondering): YES, this is in the same cinematic universe as "Drop Dead Fred" - this is the Fred who was hanging out with Phoebe Cates.
Post a Comment
Read more

Con Air (1997) - another example of the Jacob's ladder effect

As we work our way through Merry Cage-mas, an argument could be made that "Con Air" is a fever dream Nick Cage's character has just before dying during that opening bar fight. 1) Monica Potter has abs of steel and is supposedly pregnant with their daughter. She is so not pregnant looking. So much so that, I do not know how they would have been far enough along to ultrasound the embryo. Additionally, he has just walked off a fishing boat into the bar she works at after getting home from deployment - when was the child conceived? 2) Nick Cage is immediately arrested and  sentenced to seven years in prison. During the film he writes & received fully formed letters from this child. In them, he talks about all the things they used to do with each other. When did these things happen?  3) Upon making his way into the titular 'Con Air' plane, Nick Cage has a shrink wrapped bunny rabbit doll he bought for this little girl as a present. Where did that come from? The pri...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fences (2016)

Fences (2016) is nominally a story about being black in the United States of America in the 1950's. 'Troy' is a disaffected working man that never really had a chance. He is unable to make sense of an unfair world. Viola Davis doesn't get as much screen time (this is Denzel's movie), but when she is let on the scene, she destroys. 'Rose' is setting herself aside to make a life & family despite very little prospects for measurable happiness. Based on an August Wilson play - the magic of his writing is that at its root, this story is about people who set aside themselves for "existence". All people yearn for happiness on this world from their achievements (at least to achieve 'success' & 'happiness' relative to people around them). People want to proclaim they are in control of their situations. People want to be treated generously and with respect. People think that the world, society, economy, and people around them should a...
Post a Comment
Read more