Crazy Samurai: 400 vs 1 (2021) - Spend this time reading a book

"Crazy Samurai: 400 vs 1" - plot summary: umm yeah [eyes roll askance] like, there isn't really a plot.

Some dude killed some other dude and his clan arranged a duel to avenge the death. Instead of a duel, they intend to ambush him with 400 samurai - before the movie started. So we sit around with 400 guys waiting on the one guy and dribble that exposition for about 8 minutes and then the title card (and there is a nice cgi butterfly which gets a call back in the last 5 minutes) - then we begin a 70+ minute long one-shot of a one-on-many sword battle through a landscape that reminded me of central Texas and a conveniently staged Japanese ghost town.

The 1-guy hacks the 400. He boinks a lot of them on the top of the head - I found this technique surprisingly effective. For variety, there is a very short exchange with a shirtless guy with a chain, some crude dialogue between two of the 400 about cowardice, and a young woman with a bundle of firewood walks through. Those interludes take up about 3 minutes total. It seems that 1-guy hid water and a cookie in the ghost town before the battle. On again off again moody music and a lot of grunting. Occasionally we zoom into his eyes (presumably so the extras can get reset). I didn't keep track, but it probably was at least 400 unique demonstrations of dramatic falling down. With cgi blood there is really no gore, and since they did not actually have 400 paid extras there are no bodies laying around.

This is a 90 minute movie - minutes 8 to 83 are a test of endurance (for the main character and the audience). Feel free to get up and get some water, popcorn or go the bathroom without pausing. You will not miss anything. I wish my video editing skills were decent - I could make a watchable 20 minute version. There are much better examples of this genre of you want recommendations

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Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958) - it is a good deal better than the remakes

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